“The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers
him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.”
The fog reached her cold fingers into the morning. I pulled my scarf tighter around my neck, hoping to ward off the chill. The birds had yet awakened, the dark before dawn stretched out in silence. “Good morning, God,” I said as I sat down in my flower garden. I thought of my life so far. There has been a lot of trauma over the years. “It’s been quite a journey, hasn’t it God?” I asked. I felt God’s steady hand rest on my shoulder.
“Yes, it has. But I’ve walked with you every step. When you got too tired, too weary, I picked you up in my arms and I carried you. When your tears threatened to drown you, I wiped them dry,” God said softly.
“I didn’t always know that you were there. Sometimes, I thought you didn’t care,” I said honestly.
“I know. When you couldn’t feel my love, I gave you people to love you. I gave you Kenny. I gave you Bruce. Paula. Mark. May. I even gave you your four children.” I smiled, thinking of the love of my dear friends and children.
“I will never let life break you,” God promised.
“Thank you. It feels good to know you are there. It feels good to know that you’ve always been there, even when I couldn’t feel you.”
“I’ll never leave your side. I’ll never stop loving you. You are my precious child,” God whispered in my heart.
“I love you too, God,” I whispered back.
One of the squirrels that I feed scampered into the garden. I got up and went into the house to get the peanuts. As I stood in the doorway and threw them out on the lawn, I realized how whole I felt—completely at ease in my life. I knew in that moment, without a shadow of a doubt, that none of my past trauma had broken me. If anything, God used my past to strengthen me into the person I am today. He used my past to my good and to His glory. Everything was going to be alright. Everything was alright. Everything was whole. Every. Thing.