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Night had come and settled in, the stars obscured by clouds. I gathered my book and tea and cozied myself on the couch. The ringing of my phone jarred my tranquility: it was sad news. Now, the night felt ominous, foreboding.

“Why do we have to suffer?” I prayed. “Why can’t those of us who love you be exempt from pain?”

God sat down on the couch next to me and took my hands in His. “I created you for the fullness of life, for the ups and the downs on the journey. Loving me doesn’t exclude you from the bumps in the road, but rather it reminds you that my love carries you through them.”

“It’s a lot to ask, sometimes, to blindly trust you.”

“I know. But I’m there, even when you doubt.” He said, His voice so tender that it brought tears to my eyes.

“My heart hurts,” I said, my chin trembling with emotion.

God let go of my hands and put His arms around me. My tears gave way to sobs–deep uncontrollable wails. He held me, rocking me gently until they subsided.

“I hate this pain,” I confessed, wiping my nose on my sleeve.

“It will pass, and in its place will be a bigger capacity for compassion, for love, for joy,” He replied.

“Hold me tonight?” I asked.

“Always,” He promised.

I looked out the window—the clouds had parted, revealing a sky dancing and twinkling with stars, God’s reminder of light and love, even in the darkness.

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