I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You

I Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You

I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years.
~Colin Hay

Had I known when I buried you that I’d still miss you twenty-seven years later, I’m not sure I would have survived that April morning when the ground claimed your body as its own. In the quiet of the morning, I listen for the sound of your voice. I search your face in the crowds. I dream of you on nights when the rain lullabies me to sleep. What I’d give to hold you, one more time! But even in the hollow of my grief, I feel the blessing of having loved you. To have missed knowing you would have been the real loss. And so I go on, with the memory of you tucked safely in my pocket. I carry you with me into the soft light of each new day.

And so it goes, life and death. The mystery of it all. The exquisite beauty and pain of it all. I’m just trying to breathe in and out love and to enjoy the journey, hoping and praying that in the end, it leads me back to you.

What It Is To Mourn

What It Is To Mourn

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
~Matthew 5:4

The tears came before I could even hang up the phone, my heart breaking from the news of my friend’s death. “How can this be, God? He was so young,” I cried out into the emptiness that now engulfed me.

“He came home, Sparrow,” God said lovingly and sat down next to me.

“But I loved him! I don’t want him to be gone,” I sobbed.

“Yes, you did love him, and love makes you vulnerable. It opens you to grief,”  God said.

“What do I do with my grief?” I asked.

“Keep your heart open. Keep reaching out. Your heart will soon feel me—my love—reaching back to it, holding it safe within my compassion,” God replied.

I leaned my head against God’s strong shoulder for comfort. He touched my face with His gentle hand and I felt His love flowing through me. I sighed, giving in to my anguish, but knowing that with His love I’d get through the pain.

 

 

Outside, A Bird Is Singing

Outside, A Bird Is Singing

“Awake, Lord! Why do you sleep? Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever.”
~Psalm 44:23

Outside a bird is singing, its voice a new addition to the garden—I’ve never heard this song before. It’s a small cry, like the mewing of a frightened kitten. It makes me think of the Psalms of lament; the plaintive wails of troubled souls. Like the bird, I lift my voice up to God. “Have you forgotten me, Father, for today has been an arduous journey,” I moan. Tears that I’ve held at bay no longer can I hold—they spill down my face in rivers of grief and pain.

The bird flies off and all that I am left with is the gentle sound of the breeze rustling through the oak trees. All that remains is the promise of God, and on that, I must rely. A finch breaks the spell of my mourning with a song of joy. I wipe my tears and settle my breathing, knowing that outside, a bird is singing, and all is in Divine Right Order. Even my pain is in God’s glorious good hands.

Prayers For My BFF

“Honor your father and your mother…”
~Exodus 20:12

Dear Soul Reminders Friends,
I’m struggling to write. My best friend’s father died unexpectedly. We were together when she received the news. I’m too sad to be clever or to spin a little story. So, instead of forcing words, I’m going to simply ask that you tell your friends and family that you love them today.

I’ve been privileged to witness my friend’s journey with her father these past few years. She’s exemplified grace, dignity, patience, and kindness. She’s honored me with lessons on how to love. I’m so grateful for her friendship. I’m so sorry for her loss.

Please keep my friend and her family in your prayers today. God knows who she is. Thank you.

Warmly,
Jennifer

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