“But by the grace of God I am what I am…”
~1 Corinthians 15:10

“This isn’t who I created you to be,” God admonished me. “You are living a lie.”
I hung my head because I knew the words He spoke were true. “I’m sorry,” I said. “What can I do to get back to my authentic self?” I asked.
“Two questions,” He replied.
“What’s that? Two questions?” I asked incredulously. I thought it would be a harder task than just answering two questions.
“That’s right, just two questions,” God assured me. “Ready to hear them?”
I nodded.
“The first is, ‘What’s true for me?” and the second is ‘What do I really want?”
“Really? Those seem rather…” I paused, searching for the right word, “simple.”
God laughed. “Simple they are indeed, but not always easy to answer or to live.”
“I’ll ponder them later today,” I said, “When I am out in my garden.”
“It’s a good idea to ponder them every day to make sure that you are being true to yourself,” God suggested.
And so I went out into the garden and I wrote down what was true for me. Some of the things on my list surprised me. Then I wrote down the things that I really, really, wanted. Again, some of my entries surprised me. I saw how far off the mark I had gotten by being so busy and in a hurry. I saw how far off center my life had been pulled.
“Thank you, God,” I whispered. I felt God’s gentle hand on my shoulder as a breeze lifted my hair. “No more living a lie. I’ll do my best to be who you created me to be.”
I could feel God’s smile as I sat in the mid-day sun, among His beautiful flowers. I felt whole again. Happy. Contented. Totally at peace. 
journaling

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