“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me,
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.'”
~2 Corinthians 12
The night was dark and the wind, a fierce presence, blew in from the North. I leaned into the merciless gusts as I walked home. I had a lot on my mind. For seven years I’d prayed a particular prayer, hoping for a particular outcome of healing. But it was clear that God’s answer all these years had been “No.”
“Why won’t you give me what I pray for? I’ve asked in faith. I’ve asked in Christ’s name. I can’t think of anything more to do, really,” I said. The moon, a pale lantern of light, hung above me on the horizon. It should have been a comfort, but it was not “I’m frustrated with you, God,” I said through clenched teeth.
”I know you are,” God said over the roar of the wind.
”Well, what are you going to do about it?” I asked.
”Nothing. You’ll eventually realize that My answer is for your growth and ultimate protection.”
”Protection from what?”
”Yourself, Dear child,” God said gently.
“So, you won’t answer my prayer?” I asked.
”I am answering your prayer,” God said. “I’m answering it in a way the pulls you deeper and deeper into the mystery of Me. Deeper and deeper into my protection.”
The moon’s glow cast long shadows across my path. I thought about my prayer for healing and I realized God had been healing me. He had reached down and brought my soul nearer to Him. What more could I possibly ask for?